its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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