so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
wow bdsm is so cute
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize