Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
