p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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