Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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