I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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