Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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