I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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