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• (360): View more from Washington

  did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.

  (425): View more from Washington

  some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

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• (760): View more from California

  But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy

  (530): View more from California

  I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.

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