singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
