He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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