dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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