Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
