I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
