Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize