Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
