i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Screwed.edu
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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