and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
