I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
