In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
