I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
