Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
