she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
