Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
