at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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