You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
