Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
