Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
