Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
