i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
