it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
