she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
