You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize