By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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