Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
