??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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