Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
