I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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