She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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