Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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