R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
