I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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