You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
