"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
