wat bout pragnant strippers??
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
