After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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