There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
