Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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