So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
