i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
FUCK WHALES
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
