I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize