dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
