Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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