Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
