Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
