Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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