why didn't you poke me back
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
