i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
