he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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