Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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