My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
