Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
