its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
